Eliina Mai

At exactly 5:47AM on Saturday, March 10th 2007 I had a revelation. Moments after they announced time of birth and Duy cut the cord, they placed my newborn daughter on my chest. As I gasped to catch my breath and tears flooded my eyes, I said what could only have been the most obvious thing in history for a new mother to say... "It's a baby!". Dripping with true astonishment those words were the most honest I've ever spoken from my core.

For the past 9 months, I've been expecting to birth a child. I've known that my body was doing something that was indescribable... another human being was being created. BUT, until that moment, despite the contractions, the kicking, the ultrasound and heart rate monitors, I didn't quite believe that I would actually be bringing a whole new person into this world. Then, at 5:47AM on Saturday, March 10th, Duy and I did just that. She weighed exactly 8lbs and has all of her fingers and toes. She's healthy, has a great set of lungs on her and she has a twinkle in her eye like she is planning to take over the world (or at least my world).

Over the past week, Duy and I've learned a few things (to say the least). We've changed dozens of diapers, napped from 2 to 4am and then again from 2 to 4pm, worried about her first poop and now anticipate them every 3 1/2 hours. I've learned that when my daughter cries it shakes me to my core. I can be in the other room or in a deep sleep, but I awake instantly and instictively run to her aid.

I've known her only a week and to say that I'm in love with her doesn't say enough. It's unbelievable how dedicated we both are to her already. I've broken, bent and changed my rules to accomodate her sleep. We're co-sleepers now despite my best intentions, but it allows all three of us to sleep more than 1 1/2 hours at a time. We use cloth diaper during the day (most days), but disposable diapers over-night. I don't trust myself to struggle with pins so close to her body while I'm half-asleep at 3:30am. I enjoyed pregnancy (until the last few weeks) but it was all worth it. She changed my life the instant she took her first breath, and I can't remember what the point of my life was before her.

Duy is the best father in the world. I knew he would be, but it's unbelievable to see the two of them together. He's so big and solid, and she is so small and delicate. He naps with her, sings to her, speaks Vietnamese to her. He teases her and tickles her, and flys her like an airplane around the room when she's fussing. His methods for calming her down are different than mine. While I tend to rely on the old breastfeeding fall back, he has learned to let her suckle on his finger to soothe her. He walks through the house with her while singing Vietnamese nursery songs. He makes her own faces back at her and when she stirs awake at 2am, he's usually awake at the same time or even before I am.

I have the same thought in the last moments before I fall asleep every night. As the three of us settle into our respective spots in what has become our shared bed, I realize that everything that means EVERYTHING to me in this entire world is right here. My husband to my left and between us lies our daughter. An real miracle on Earth.